Clarity about Role of Parents in selection of spouse & our sense of Respect for them:
Telling you frankly, we are not reasonable in many issues like 'Kundli Matching' etc. We need to review our beliefs about our Respect for Parents.
· We do not know whom to believe in what subject.
· We don't mind giving our head in the hands of a filthy barber..but we don't allow shaking hands with opposite gender..(its true about Indians)..
· We rely on an unknown, uneducated..addicted..(some times even drunken) driver of a public bus but we don't rely on God....
· It is a pity that our elders are hypocritical in many ways.. they boast about our great cultural wisdom.. but just for the sake of boasting..
· Our elders keep worshiping Radha-Krishna..but they are harsh with lovers..
· Their notions are not clear about Shastras..
· As regards 'Kundli Matching'; they hardly know astrology but blindly go with Kundli matching which is like exploring the world with the help of 16th century map.
· Most elders gave up education immediately upon their getting employment or marriage.
It would be worth to ask following questions frankly :
· Do parents know the characteristics of a spouse that would be more suitable for you ?
· Do they have knowledge and skill to analyze personality traits?
· Do they really know what would be the challenges for a couple in the next 50 years?
· Do they keep themselves updated with the societal developments in the world?
You will agree that a statement like 'Experience of office work' is not a complete. A pantry boy will not have experience of communication even if he works for 30 years in a business workplace.
· Similarly, assess the experience of your parents.
· They have lived a longer, true, but how long exposure they have in issues like finding suitable match for their children?
· How good are they at assessment of human beings?
· Their experience in this regard can be considered only if you have 3-4 elder siblings and your parents could successfully examine suitable spouse for them.
· What will happen if you marry with the boy without the approval of parents?
· Do you think you will remain a good child only if you marry as per their wish?
· What do you think are the duties of a child towards parents?
· Do you think that there won't be any avenues to show love, affection and respect for your elders if you miss to show the same through marriage as desired by them?
· Would you take your Dad to a surgeon if he develops cataracts in his eyes? Or would you pamper him with cataracts? (blind faith in shastras is a kind of cataract.
Know that every couple, whatsoever way they present themselves, have ups-n-downs in their lives. This is true for all, whether their Kundli matched or miss-matched..! Because Life is Dynamic. Being an astrologer myself, I have not undertaken kundli matching for my children. They have married with their loved ones. Needless to mention: 'They are happy'.
Know that there is nothing like selection of a spouse - only those who have tremendous amount of karmic dues, fits into wedlock. So, after putting all, more than due degree of efforts from you; if it doesn't click, you should believe that your rinanubandh was just to this limit, give it up and move on.
Further reading :