We are in Love but our Kundlis do not match...
Shoul Lovers Resort to Kundli Matching ?
Quite often we get mail from a bit confused lovers about biggest obstacle on their way - Kundli Matching. Our youngsters do have respect for the sentiments and social status of their elders. This is the reason they wish their elders to bless them in the wedlock. They wish that their beloved be accepted as the would be spouse. At this juncture, they face the test of Kundli Matching. I can only imagine how badly they must be feeling about Astrology when they are denied marriage because of non-compatibility on the basis of Astrology.! Hearts matched but Kundlis didn't.!
While marriage after short term 'ILU ILU' has its own hazards, I strongly feel that rejecting an othewise very good boy or a girl because of low score on astrological compitibility is just too much. The saying 'Known devil is better than an unknown angel' has a lot to say here.
With a view to express my personal views on the issue I have uploaded this article. (hello Young Hearts, say "Thanks")
My Golden Advice to Lovers
It would not be wise to go in for Kundli Matching when you are involved for a considerable time. If some thing negative comes out during such matching; it would create a doubt for whole life.
I personally believe that the 'Kundli Matching' is a futile exercise. You might be shocked to have such a comment from an astrologer.! Yes, I am astrologer and even though, I believe this strongly. I have two children and I have never indulged in matching their kundlis. This is because, I have digested astrology and I don't entertain astrology at the cost of my commonsense.
Astrologer might be just instrumental.!
I know that the relationship of Husband-Wife establishes only when there is very great degree of 'Rinanubandhan'. I hope you understand what is rinanubandhan. So, when there are huge dues to be settled with each other, then only two persons would become spouses. Understanding the meaning of fate, we cannot blame astrologer declaring mis-match of Kundlies. It is quit nature that there is not enough 'Rinanubandha' between two lovers to become husband and wife and Kundli Matching might be instrumental in termination of the reltionship.
What is Kundli?
The kundli is charted on the basis of the position of planets at the time of birth. Astrologers make out predictions on the basis of planets in different houses of this chart. As the possibility of possessing a house, education, job, health etc. are assessed from different houses/planets of the horoscope. Similarly the marital happiness one is destined to derive is also indicated in the birth chart it self. So if one is married to 'x' or 'y' the total possible happiness of married life would not change.
Does Birth Chart changes after Marriage?
You may ask the astrologer who matches kundlis, whether the horoscope gets changed after marriage? 'No' would be the answer. Now, it is a matter of commonsense that if Kundli does not change, the results (about marital happiness) must be the output of the same original horoscope.
Time has changed a lot
The kundli matching did have some practical value in the era when it was not possible to know each other before marriage. In the present era of dating and pre-marriage meetings the would be spouse have clearly better opportunity to understand the nature of each other. This acquaintance would be much more useful rather than getting some rough idea about knowing the nature through astrology.
Most of the astrologers would avoid to accept the above facts and even if they know this, their professional interest does not allow them to come out clearly and openly on the issue.
An average astrologer would match the Kundli with the traditional 'Ashtakoot' method. This method is designed on the basis of ancient society. The parameters involved in this method are designed to assess the qualities of bride with respect to expectations of those days. Now the time has changed and the expectations of spouses are changed drastically. It is not at all advisable to use the outdated method to assess compatibility of the present would be couples.
Without understanding the essence of Mangal in the life of todays professionally qualified girls, the astrologers come out with Mangalik Dosha etc. In fact, Mangal is energy and intelligence. In those days when the 'submissiveness' of wife was most desired quality, effective Mangal was considered bad. The method was drafted to ascertain the dominance of Male in the relationship. But now, the girls are doing exceptionally well on all fronts be it education or occupation. For such girls it is natural that she should have a prominent Mangal in her chart. Without the help of Mangal she cannot be able attain all the achievements. For such girls, it would be natural to have slightly high sense of self-esteem. The expectations of today's hubby are also different than the traditional. They have learned the art of accommodating earning wife's domination. He knows that she is not just a housewife. She is his partner. However, unfortunately the astrologers are still going ahead with their century old methods.
In today's society, it would be better if the would be couple go in for medical check up to see that there is no danger of unfavorable the RH factor, AIDS etc. rather than going in for Kundli Matching.
Take Responsibility of your Selection
So, it is my personal advise that the lovers should not fall into this meaningless exercise of Kundli Matching. Go ahead with what your heart say. Let your mind approve the desire of your heart. Make up your mind - 'how you two would make a good couple' 'on what matters you would accommodate each others' moods'. Go through a good book about how to lead a happy married life. Marriage is a longterm relationship. See that you two can live happily together and you are ready for compromises. Unlike meeting for a short period behind a bush (as lovers do) marriage has many challenges to meet together. You should be prepared to face it.
Your Kundli would show what is due at the time of your birth but as you go ahead and interact with the events, you are building future. This process and results of building new future is not reflected in birth chart. So even if your birth chart is not promising, with your wise actions you can definitely create good happy future. The otherwise is equally true - even when your birth chart is very strong, if you go ahead without proper understanding, it is likely that you may create difficulties. So appreciate what is the cost of relationship and the requirements of creating happy married life and go ahead -take responsibility of your action rather than going for astrological excuses.
Did you consult an astrologer?
Be Positive and Optimistic. Did you consult an astrologer at the time you fell in love? Be loyal to love, seeking astrological advise by lovers is a humiliation of this pious expression.
May God Bless you.